Merlin almost wants to type that he doesn't care about how it makes other people feel. That he just wanted the glory and praise. That he did it just for himself, and that such things don't matter. He's an inhuman creature that feeds on the emotions of others, who just takes what he wants, and damn everyone else.
That the reason he's trying his best on the other side is just for his own sake, just to look good. But, somehow, this time those assertions all feel hollow.
He's made a promise, one he sometimes thinks he's made in the heat of the moment. But examining that closely means he can't take back what he's done or said. ]
Too many people have faith in me.
[ Maybe that's why you all haven't been able to deal with the two administrators properly, is what he wants to say. ]
I've lived for a very long time. So, it isn't even the first time I 'died'. Still, for some reason, a good number of you mourned my loss, as if it meant something. For a while, I didn't understand.
But, from the start, unexpectedly a good number of you treated me with kindness. How could I stand around and do nothing? Even someone like me, who is so far away from humanity, couldn't help but be touched. Still, maybe I might have some regrets, that I was a little careless.
Even so, what is done is done. Even if I'm an observer, I don't have any intentions to remain as simply one throughout all of this again. I'll do what I can to support you, and the rest. Admittedly, I don't really care about Billy, so he doesn't count, but you know.
[ What's that? Merlin still unable to keep from being petty? Still a thing. ]
I know it's also hard, so I really do mean it that I'm glad you're going to keep moving forward. Even if it feels like you're running on fumes. It's at that time when humans shine the brightest, but also that solutions once veiled reveal themselves.
[ ... ]
Of course, what are friends for?
...
Thank you for being my friend, Psyche.
[ He doesn't even ruin it with 'even if I don't deserve it'. She doesn't need to cry again.
Merlin wants to talk about some nonsense for funsies, but he's just going to let it all sink in for a second first. The fact that there was a memorial built for him by Zelkov and Lacus from the very start, that Wei Wuxian said people cared about him, that Wang Lu said he remembered him, and that Psyche stated she was his friend. He's going to let it all sink in.
And then, be grateful no one can see his face right now, because he's going to seriously need a moment. ]
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Merlin almost wants to type that he doesn't care about how it makes other people feel. That he just wanted the glory and praise. That he did it just for himself, and that such things don't matter. He's an inhuman creature that feeds on the emotions of others, who just takes what he wants, and damn everyone else.
That the reason he's trying his best on the other side is just for his own sake, just to look good. But, somehow, this time those assertions all feel hollow.
He's made a promise, one he sometimes thinks he's made in the heat of the moment. But examining that closely means he can't take back what he's done or said. ]
Too many people have faith in me.
[ Maybe that's why you all haven't been able to deal with the two administrators properly, is what he wants to say. ]
I've lived for a very long time. So, it isn't even the first time I 'died'. Still, for some reason, a good number of you mourned my loss, as if it meant something. For a while, I didn't understand.
But, from the start, unexpectedly a good number of you treated me with kindness. How could I stand around and do nothing? Even someone like me, who is so far away from humanity, couldn't help but be touched. Still, maybe I might have some regrets, that I was a little careless.
Even so, what is done is done. Even if I'm an observer, I don't have any intentions to remain as simply one throughout all of this again. I'll do what I can to support you, and the rest. Admittedly, I don't really care about Billy, so he doesn't count, but you know.
[ What's that? Merlin still unable to keep from being petty? Still a thing. ]
I know it's also hard, so I really do mean it that I'm glad you're going to keep moving forward. Even if it feels like you're running on fumes. It's at that time when humans shine the brightest, but also that solutions once veiled reveal themselves.
[ ... ]
Of course, what are friends for?
...
Thank you for being my friend, Psyche.
[ He doesn't even ruin it with 'even if I don't deserve it'. She doesn't need to cry again.
Merlin wants to talk about some nonsense for funsies, but he's just going to let it all sink in for a second first. The fact that there was a memorial built for him by Zelkov and Lacus from the very start, that Wei Wuxian said people cared about him, that Wang Lu said he remembered him, and that Psyche stated she was his friend. He's going to let it all sink in.
And then, be grateful no one can see his face right now, because he's going to seriously need a moment. ]